As I turned left out of my street this morning and headed to work, I watched in my rear-view mirror as my daughter pulled out, though turned to the right and continued in the opposite direction. She was heading to her new job, in her new car—only her third day driving it. As the image of her car in my mirror grew smaller, I prayed to God for her happiness and protection as she begins this new phase in her life—and I cried. It was not something I intended to do, but my words were more of a plea for help than anything. I was suddenly more overwhelmed with the gravity of the events of this summer than I had ever been at the time of her accident. When it first happened, I was too busy reacting to what needed to be fixed and the anticipation of the future, when things would become normal again. This day was that long-awaited moment.
For five months she (we) put life on hold as the healing process took place. Who knows why things happen the way that they do, but the ordeal brought me closer to her than ever before. After she was home from the hospital and learning to adjust to her mobility issues, I remember her telling me that she felt the accident was meant to happen. How could falling asleep at the wheel and hitting a huge tree be something that is supposed to happen to my daughter? In some strange way, I also felt it was true. The turn of events caused her to avoid certain activities and careers and partake in others and to really appreciate the basic needs that we all have. It caused her to see life differently and to slow down—perhaps in a way that her family’s guidance could never have done. Events do seem to shape us.
The year 2011 seemed to be very “sensational” and I don’t necessarily mean that in a good way. From January’s snow piles which were nearly over my head, to the June 1 tornado which seemed to violate the relatively calm weather patterns that Massachusetts is used to, to the freak October 29 nor’easter which caused a tree limb to knock me down (and break my toe in the fall), and everything else in between—2011 was a year that I made every attempt to celebrate, but I think the year just preferred to be memorable. Perhaps that’s what I get for co-chairing the New Year’s Eve event on 12/31/2010! Of course, I haven’t mentioned the various world news events that made 2011 stand out.
2011 challenged me in so many ways: physically—due to clean-up efforts from the weather’s destruction, emotionally--as I dealt with a parent’s worst nightmare and the trials and tribulations of living back home with my parents, and logistically--as I tried to do too much for too many. I also had the pleasure and the challenge of being in my first play. Although I came close to backing out of the opportunity due to my daughter’s car accident, playing Mrs. Webb in “Our Town” allowed me to have a wonderful creative outlet and a way to be someone who I had never been before; and at this time in my life, I had the confidence to do it. I also met a wonderful group of people who were in the same boat as me and hopefully had as much fun as I did. Having my new leading man play “Mr. Webb” was even more special. Those four months of preparation for the October play were a true investment in myself and were even a little therapeutic.
I could not possibly forget to mention my experience riding in the Belchertown Historical Association’s Concord Coach during the parade on September 24. I had rented a costume for the parade, but didn’t actually know until the last minute that I would get the opportunity to get such a special ride. I was very honored—knowing that the honor typically goes to the senior members of the Association. There was room for my fellow 250th Anniversary Committee member and me to share the ride, and I could not have asked for a better culmination of my service on the Committee…or a better birthday present! (Indeed, it was my birthday weekend too.) That afternoon I decided to officially join the Historical Association—it was certainly the least I could do!
The year also seemed to be a reminder of what once was, and what can be taken away, and what we can truly function with or without. I tried to “perfect” the independence that I took back last year and I know what is necessary for me to be content. If something bothers me, I do speak up now. I didn’t always do that. I know that I am the only person who is responsible for me.
The fact that I’m even writing means that my schedule and my brain have freed up enough space to allow for inspiration again. My biggest challenge right now seems to be the upcoming holidays and handling all the details. I have heard too many people say this year that Christmas isn’t as welcome as usual. I suppose more than ever we should remember what it’s really all about. I’m going to do just that, and be even more thankful for everyone and everything I have in my life.
As I ponder my plans for 2012, I pray that the New Year is far less exciting!!
